This is Twice Now
by DancingNancyy
Summary: Emma can't stop thinking about her recent conversations with Hook. The more she allows herself to think the more she realizes things she'd pushed away. Takes place after 3X16 (It's Not Easy Being Green) with 3X17 spoilers. One Shot.


The Rabbit Hole seemed like a good place to hide. Granny's was too public and after the day she'd had she wanted nothing more than to lie under the radar. Being the Savior meant always dealing with the town's problems. But right now Emma just wanted to be alone with her glass of rum. Damn that pirate for turning her onto it.

Another sip, a little more fire in her throat.

Somehow her thoughts always circled back to Hook. As much as she wanted to avoid the matter entirely and brood in silence, something about the amber liquid made her a little more honest than she liked. Emma allowed herself a moment of indulgence, perhaps to simply get her mind off the mess at hand; she allowed her mind to wander.

It wandered into dangerous territory quickly as thoughts of Hook volunteering to take Henry out flooded her conscious mind. Whether it was to comfort her or Henry or even himself, the thought _did_ comfort her. He always believed in her and though he wanted to protect her and Henry he made it obvious he knew she could take care of herself. He cared about her. Being truly honest with herself she knew he wasn't the same pirate he once was. She'd known it since Neverland and she'd always been afraid to admit it.

Emma smiled to herself, dangerous territory indeed; she'd wandered too far.

~/

_More than a doorway conversation._ The words echoes her in mind as Emma leaned against the back the door, once against closing herself off from Hook. She'd meant the conversation about the day's events but Hook deserved a lot more than that. There she goes again, delving too deep.

/~

_If you want to get close to me, just have to ask –Take it from me, just this once, no matter how much you wish you could go back to your old life – you can't._

The conversation left something to be desired.

Hook had taken Henry again and once more Emma found herself nearing the bottom of another glass of rum. What she wouldn't give to have spent the day with Henry at home in New York playing video games or doing anything normal. Instead she'd spent the day practicing controlling and strengthening her magic with Regina. It had gone well. A day or two more and she felt like Zelena might meet her match.

Hook's words tugged at the part of her brain, the part she'd been trying to avoid again. She _did_ remember this life, this world, how could she go back to New York and pretend it doesn't exist? She spent her entire life wishing for a family and now she not only had her parents but a whole town that loved her. And a damn pirate that she couldn't get out of her head.

Would Henry's life really be better off without the truth? She'd made the mistake of lying to him before, before her new memories and new life, about Neal and what he was. Henry had been strong enough then to understand what had happened and strong enough to be angry with Emma for lying about it. In the end Henry was just like his mother: if he had the choice he'd want to know the truth, he'd want to know his family and their _interesting_ reality. She knows he'd rather know the truth than live a lie, even it was more painful.

~/

An hour or so later, Emma sat on her bed in their room at Granny's when she heard the knock. Something about her realization at The Rabbit Hole made her a bit anxious.

"Mom, it's me!" Henry's voice sounded as she swung open the door revealing her son and a very handsome pirate. "Thanks again, Killian." Henry didn't wait for a reply before he darted past Emma to the bathroom.

"He had a bit of a run it with a fish. Probably wants to wash up." Hook smirked. "How goes the magic practice?"

Emma turned around to make sure Henry was in the bathroom before closing their bedroom door, leaving her alone in the hallway with Hook. "It was as good as expected for someone who hasn't been trained or practiced in a year. But I think it'd going well."

"That's good to hear. Goodnight Swan." Hook turned to leave. He was being short with her. She supposed their conversation earlier had struck a nerve and wasn't sitting right with him.

"I talked to Regina about the memory potion you gave me."That got his attention, stopping him in his tracks. Emma Continued, "She said now that we know Gold is still alive he can more than likely recreate it. We just have to end this war with the Wicked Witch first." Hook had turned back around to face her. He looked somewhere between shell shocked and relieved all at once.

"You mean to get the boy's memories back? Does that mean you wish to stay, Swan?"

"You were right, I can't go back. Not after what I know now. Not after everything that's happened. And if Henry knew what he was missing out on, even if it hurts, he'd always choose the truth."

"Just like his mother," a hint of a smile tugged at his lips. He was still apprehensive. Emma had said things before, done things to give him hope but so far all she'd done until tonight was try to take it away from him. He didn't give up so easily of course but she needed Hook to know she was serious.

"And Hook," the word hung in the air, giving sound to the palpable tension between them.  
"I can't lose everyone all over again."

"Aye." It was comprehension and a question in one word as he moved a step closer, their faces inches apart.

The subtle flick of his tongue drew Emma's attention to his lips, an action not lost on Hook. But he didn't move. Hook would always wait for her, giving Emma the control of the situation but not backing down. If she wanted something she would have to take it, just like she did in Neverland.

Just like she did now. Echoing the move, she latched onto his lapels, launching her mouth onto his. Crushing her lips to his unsuspecting lips, Emma felt his hand cupping her head much like his move in Neverland. As quickly as it began, though, Hook tamed her with the slow ease of movements. Emma wanted fast passion but Hook wanted to slow it down, he wanted her to feel every bit of his intentions. Emma knew he loved her, of course she knew it, but now Hook wanted to make himself clear.

Emma slid her hands up his neck, lightly brushing the scruff and pushing her figures through his hair, propelling their bodies closer. She'd longed for the day she could do that. She felt the light touch of the fake hand pressing into her back as he hugged them even closer. Their mouths no longer moved in such ferocity but with more of a need for one another. Hungrily, their lips devoured each other. Emma could feel every inch of his body pressed up against her, she pressed back, needing to feel their closeness.

"Mom?"

Instantly they broke apart. Emma had practically jumped out of her skin only to realize Henry hadn't even opened the door. "Coming, Henry." Emma called through the door.

Emma smiled as she turned to see the look on the pirate's face, red cheeks and swollen lips, awestruck. It made her want to grab his leather and start again.

"I should get back." Emma chuckled.

"Same time tomorrow then?" He'd regained his composure, smirking at her now. "I'll be just down the hall if you need anything Swan."

Emma nodded, catching the double meaning. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Emma."


End file.
